19 Vintage Advertisements That Wouldn’t Make Today’s Cut
written by Jesse ReesThey say time heals all wounds, which is obviously apparent when you take a gander at some of these doozies from the past. Before anybody knew what a lawsuit was, these types of custom print advertisements were a part of many major company marketing platforms. Just be sure you don’t add them to your next brochure printing order.
Van Heusen

Can I also get you a foot-rub honey? Or maybe you would like me to pay off your credit cards, sports car and golfing membership for the next 20 years … Oh, please can I?
Marlboro

Nothing like some words of encouragement…from a 2-year-old.
Group Showers by Bradley Corporation

This one is wrong on so many levels.
The Rifleman

You can’t buy this type of pride for 15 cents anymore.
Kellogg’s Pep Vitamins

If vitamins did this, we’d all be walking around with Brad Pitts and Megan Foxes under our arm. Or at least feel incredibly duped.
Linda Darnell, Camel Cigarettes

30 days? Try 30 years Linda and come back to tell people about your tracheotomy.
Dental Poster Viceroy

It wasn’t enough that movie actors and children had to get in on the fun of filtered cigarettes. Even the most trusted professionals on the planet had no freaking clue.
Pure Ivory

Ah, stereotypes. I wonder why other flavors of custard weren’t considered.
Del Monte Ketchup

What exactly were they going for with this expression anyway?
Van Heusen

…but obviously not the guy who forgot to bring his Cary Grant costume.
Tool Set

Because “perfect happiness” is exactly what I see happening here.
Chinese Cherry

Why wouldn’t the words “sour” or “lip-smacking” suffice in this situation?
Daisy Manufacturing Co.

And then, we’ll go eat sugarplums. Later on, we’ll eat our Christmas ham. And after that, me and Charlie will go start the NRA!
This Christmas Give Cartons of Luckies by Yesmoke

Whoa, slow down Mr. Suave. You only have 1,872 of those left.
Pears Soap

Maybe if you washed yourself with Pears Soap, that earthquake wouldn’t have passed and you would’ve avoided the completely demoralized state you are currently in. Sweetiepie.
Lane Bryant

Lane Bryant taught us that when you support the ultimate self-esteem killer, it can still be positive and uplifting.
Lysol Disinfectant

Feeling doubtful about your career or relationships? Are your inhibitions preventing you from having fun? Do you think ignorance is blocking you from seeing your husband? Just scrub Lysol on the affected areas and watch it all wash away.
Community Silverplate

Honey, my lips are down here.
Truth Dollars

Simple! Pump all your hard-earned dollars into an invisible cause aimed at fighting one of history’s biggest ideologies!
Jesse Rees is a web writer and SEO Expert at SimplePrint.com, which is an Online Printer that specializes in Online Printing. I am an avid online learner of web related information including Web Design, Graphic Design, and SEO. I attended the University of St. Thomas, where I majored in Finance but the internet is my new home and writing is a passion of mine. Follow me on Twitter: Jesse Rees











3 Comments
ADD COMMENTptamaro says:
August 9, 2011ROTFL! You made my day, thanks :D
Blog Wordpress Themes says:
August 10, 2011Great share! I wonder if they banned the advertisement from Marlboro. Looking at these, I love How elegant women look in the past years
Dzinepress says:
August 15, 2011creativity there even all ads belong to history.